sob

i wont receive a goodnight msg from dear 2nite.. i miss her..

undecisive

i think my life is screwed. My sis has paid for me few thousand bucks and now i feel like quitting. I really felt sad and dissapointed with myself. I think nobody in this world is more stupid than me. Since i knew i already dont like engineering, y am i still choosing it?? I chose biomedical engineering becoz i like bio, yet all i know now is maths, engineering n physics. Come on. PLS gimme some medicine names n i will happily memorize it for u. I wan to know more about meiosis and omg biology..... so many interesting topics. maths? I hate the stupid differentiation trying to make my life miserable. Or i should say, i really dont have a life. Say i succeeded , and managed to get the cert after 4 yrs later. I will be working on the thing which i dun like for the rest of my life. If that doenst sound creepy, i really dont know anything else which can make my life worse than what im facing now. I wanted to change, but can i? im at the edge of a decision !!

i hope god will drop some check with 1 million pounds on it in front of me while im being tortured by the stupid microsoft excel

Ups and downs in the sea of love

Its already 11 months and a day me n my gf coupled. Through the days we have/have not been together, all i have in my mind is her. Each time we have some clash which usually comes from misunderstandings or wrong usage of words or simply due to temper, i felt really sad, and the same thing happens to her too. Who wouldnt anway. I'm a man, n nan ren liu shue, bu liu lei ? The person who creates this saying ( probably the guy is ip man..) is totally wrong. Boys have as much emotion as girls. I have no strength to conceal the sadness in my heart.. It all happens too sudden. I have nowhere to hide my face as i have the tears bleeding out of my eyes, and its not because i'm angry her, its the surge of disappointment feeling within the very bottom of my heart. Disappointed with myself because i couldnt let her be happy at the times where we are still suppose to be chatting happily just like before. Disappointed because once n once again, i have hurt her, even if i didn't meant to do that. Sorry is not an excuse. I have to admit i said that more than just twice or a couple times. but, i meant it. I really love her, making her angry equals to erm.. taking a blade and make a 3 inch scar to my tiny heart. I am typing this while asking a question to myself in my heart. "All this while, i have treated my girl well ?" Well, answer may be varies depending on my mood of course; but as for now, i knew i have not made her the happiest girlfriend in this world. I may not have any super power talent or dashing face to always always keep her heart with me or completely happy with me, but i wouldnt not give up. I dont know, but i just felt like doing it. Maybe i got inspired by nike or something. Im swearing to the light bulb which is just next to this pc, and to her and to myself, all the hard feelings or factors leading to crash or quarrels, i shall hereby erase them all out of my itenerary ! Its not an easy task, every boys know this. But when im reminiscing my past somewhere like 10 years time later, where my girlfriend who might already upgraded to the status of wife, all i could think of is those moments of happiness and smiles and laughs. As a person who loves her and willing to spend the rest of my life with her, i would cross fingers , and thus hoping that the day where she proudly tell her friends and sis and her family and her neighbour, she had not found the wrong man. Just thinking of the moment we can be together, my heart smiles sweeter than any candy u can find in anywhere on earth. Dear,.. if you are reading this, i wanted to tell u, i love you~~ Please forgive my past. In addition to the promises and swears u and me made, i promise you, in this 4 years time where we are in long distance relationship, i WILL NOT change my heart or attitude when chatting with you. I truly hope, dear would not change the love, attitude, as well as the concern towards me. I sounded ungrateful once, and i wont let the second times happen anymore. My fellow bloggie readers can be the judges. Shall we hold our hands onto the rope together , and hike through the years of long distance relationship ? I love you ~~ :)



Thats the animated version of me and my gf facing to the opposite of camera view. hehe

Typhoon!!

Wait.. its not exactly typhoon or tornadoes hurricanes or squall , but the stupid gale outside is crazyy. Holy macaroni . My hair is gonna blown away by the neverending gust of winds roams on the street.... I even had my eyes shut about 50% of the time in order not to let any sand get into them. -.- i guess the weather in australia is yet another thing to complain.. sigh i really wish im in malaysia now.